Divine MomentMay 27, 2015
God is here, right now, and I know that, I do… but sometimes the veil parts, sometimes he’s almost tangible, and those moments have been rare of late.
The other weekend I went to my first Serbian Catholic wedding. I stood amongst the family in the cathedral, I saw the customary stole and alb, followed the service that was so familiar though completely over my head. Whispers told me the priest had married the parents and baptised the bride. Unprompted amen’s showed the church natives scattered amongst those gathered. The old walls rang with the clarity of the younger priest’s voice and then the powerful trembling of the older priest’s anthem. And in the almost deafening sound of the final prayer I closed my eyes and felt the wind atop the mountain, the spirit of the Great I AM reverberating my bones, the ghost of passing generations inside those stone walls.
Church is such a beautiful thing in it’s gathering, it’s such a powerful presence even to those who pay it mere lip service. If I’m to be honest, then Serbian weddings are not the place I really expect to meet God. While there are echo’s of the divine in the sacred act and the places of devotion, they are deep and subtle, overpowered by the deafening music of the reception and abandoning of etiquette to circling up in drink fed dance. So such a powerful moment swept me off my feet temporarily. It made me look afresh at the place I was in, long again for fresh spiritual nourishment, highlight my lamp burning low and show my oil jug dangerously empty.
It prompted me to move, to seek out teaching and create myself a scheduled moment. I tried it out last Sunday while friends watched Adam and rain pounded the streets. Little did I know that rain would cut us off from work for 3 days, temporarily strand our friends, issue the first level of flood warnings. Thrown out of kilter that short deliberate time replayed in my mind and sustained me, engaged me, and challenged me onwards. How this emerging ‘moment’ will develop is something I now very much look forward to.
Those decisionsMay 22, 2015
Fours years ago this morning our lives changed. It is a morning I’ll not forget for excitement stood in the air almost as thickly as apprehension. It was my husbands last day at work.
When I met Zeljko he worked in a shop, he had a regular (if decreasing and unreliable) income and he’d never really been out of work. We didn’t really have much of an alternative income at the time, our float was depleting and donations were thin. Life wasn’t easy, married just over 6 months, I was still adjusting to the a more permanent foreign life, and Zeljko’s work was beyond taking the mickey. Even the basics such as eating had failed, I was skipping meals daily and failing to find my feet cooking when Zeljko arrived home. Some of the resulting conversations are etched clearly in my memory.
I’ll not pretend that the decision we made back then was easy, but it was the right one. We stepped out into the unknown and what followed was life changing. From helping add a little content on a website Zeljko has slowly turned himself into a programmer and discovered something he loves to do. I had the tools and the right number of nudges to build a website full of kids ministry resources that is now used worldwide by thousands of people every month. Finding our feet and projects we love have given us things to build on, opened doors (like joining CMS), and helped us establish a more stable and healthy life in the city we call home. Being bold meant being open to blessing greater than we could imagine.
7 months ago this morning our lives changed big time. We held our first born child. Bringing a child into our lives was a huge decision. Zeljko is still considered officially unemployed, our lives rely on a careful balancing of visas and our bills are paid by money which is either irregular or reliant upon goodwill. While it may seem crazy to add a child into this mix we know already some of the great blessings it’s brings. As we enjoy the light we know darkness can ascend at any moment, yet we also know that we can boldly move forward, continually trusting in God’s provision.
Last week (1)May 12, 2015
Tuesday morning has dawned and with the weekend now well and truly past, and the work week embarked upon, I’m emptying the camera and spending 20 minutes reflecting on the week. Here’s a quick round-up.
Last week it got hot, we went from being criticised by passers by for having Adam’s skin exposed to the sun, to being criticised for coving him up. With the 30°C mark hit, our air-conditioner was working hard to keep the house at 25. Adam is sitting like a pro and eating like a trooper. I got a new wand blender this week, it’s fabulous and perfect for making Adam’s food. The doctor advised us to get him onto 2 meals a day, eventually replacing his 2nd feed with sweet and 4th with savoury. It’s not a schedule I’d come across before but Adam is taking to it well, though he still wants his milk after. I finally feel less daunted by the process of weaning.
Thursday we were supposed to join some extended family members for their slava. First Zeljko had a medical appointment to keep, I suppose it’s predictable that it over-ran. After 2 hours sitting in the heat (just to be told there is nothing detectable) he cancelled plans. I carted Adam off to the shopping centre to get him out and meet daddy half way for a drink. Lo and behold we were not to remain alone, after bumping into a very unexpected friend another came to join us. Soon we were eating fast food and playing in a racing car!
We went visiting friends for the weekend. This meant lots of hugs from non-parents for Adam, a lot of relaxing for mummy, great food and lots of conversations. Saturday night we dined out and I finally got a photo of the limited edition glass coke bottles, the way they have Serbian-ised the bottle is classic. It used to irritate the sense out of me how they rewrite names phonetically, but as I grow used to the strengths and weaknesses of this culture I find them less disrespectful and more amusing. A lot about being cross cultural is recognising that your values are really cultural and therefore more fluid than you may imagine.