My biggest parenting lessonJune 24, 2015
Parenting was going to be fun… I had it all planned. I was stockpiling ideas and activities long before the little strip showed a baby was due. I knew I had many a parenting lesson to learn but that was half the adventure. I recognised ‘fun’ did not equate to easy, and that some moments may feel like ‘fun’ had never existed, but still I planned in shades of giggles. I read up about stockpiling, filling the closet and freezer, even found patterns for home made kids clothes.
Then it happened. I was holding a little effigy of ourselves, a baby of our own… and nothing fit. The first clothes dwarfed him, actually very little we had fit. The cloth nappies fell off, the feeding tops were clicked down for a pump and the little wooden rocking crib was too draughty. All the picture perfect scenario’s crumbled to parenting reality. The bar was raised, the pregnancy e-mails turned to ones about how I should have waited before the cord was cut and potty trained in the first weeks. Suddenly planning became serious and then it didn’t.
I quit planning and just dreamt,
concentrated on today and it’s needs… and found real joy in it.
Spring coming really brought it home – I have a beautiful snow suit he will never wear and outfits washed but once. Now I only buy clothes half a size bigger than he is at the time, toys he takes an interest in when we show him in the shop. I’ve sewn him a bib, frozen excess home made baby food, nothing big. It doesn’t mean we aren’t frugal, or immensely grateful for the hand me downs and gifts that fill the bottom drawer, but it does cut down on waste. If I fall in love with something in a shop we’re using it before the weeks out, knowing we needed it before it was paid for.. plus I get to fully ride out the ‘new stuff’ wave.
Laying the planning down wasn’t easy, but renaming it to dreams allowed me to stop thinking about tomorrow, really enjoy today and all the fun it may bring.
Destroying the DandelionJune 17, 2015
On Tuesday evenings Baba comes. It’s become a mini ritual for us, she will arrive mid afternoon or later and we’ll leave the house on our weekly grocery trip. Clutching jute bags, with the sunset behind us, we walk the familiar path and savour an hour or two of parental freedom. Often we dally as we marvel at the moon or the hues of the sky, we saw a couple of girls yesterday photographing the sunset and laughed that we must look like them, appearing like tourists.
On our way home we saw a family walk towards us, a small girl stooped and grabbed a dandelion from the verge and after a quick examining glance blew upon it’s gentle seeds. My mind filled with childlike joy at the action so many times repeated, pretence at telling the time, expectation of a flurry of white momentarily filling the air… Nothing happened. The white head remained perfectly intact, soft and delicate as the moment she had first grabbed it. I waited for her to try again, increase the strength of airflow, but she didn’t. Reaching up with her other hand she cleaned the steam in one quick grab.
There was a sadness in that second for the loss or wonder. How fickle the human race can be, temperamental and impatient. We can fail to watch the birds or marvel at the breeze, being so easily distracted with our own making and timetable that we ignore the beauty before us. Perhaps we do indeed look like tourists on our walks, I’m often mistaken for one… but perhaps that’s a blessing I don’t want to lose. I want to pick a dandelion and appreciate it’s beauty, giggle as it sheds it’s seeds, marvel at it’s construction and not become jaded to the beauty God left waiting for us to discover.
Last week (2)June 14, 2015
The weekend is upon us and looking back I can barely believe we are here already. So without further dilly dallying here are some things we’ve just loved this week!
This has been the week of establishing a new sleep pattern for us – Adam now sleeps for 2-3 hours in the middle of the day, and has another sleep in the early evening. It’s been wonderful for getting a bit of work done, but it’s also backfired occasionally and we end up with a grumpy sleep deprived child all day!
I’m loving my quiet times. I’m not partaking of the weekly church ritual right now and found myself yearning to hear a good sermon. Then I came across ‘A sermon for every Sunday‘ – these short lectionary based video sermons are just wonderful and exactly what I needed.
Adam is loving sitting and exploring. We have long enjoyed putting him in his pram top with a bundle of toys, but his increased stability and first attempts at moving made us decide it’s time for the floor too. Our floors are rather hard and cold so we created a play area. Turned out one packet was not enough and it was finally completed last night – after gluing the pop out pieces in place, in all 20 tiles!
This is the week of cut off t-shirts and fabric nappies. We even met someone selling fabric nappies in the centre on Friday evening and had a good chat about microfibre and bamboo! Vaguely related to the fabric is our pushchair’s mosquito cover. This odd looking net is brilliant. My arms have two huge swollen patches from mosquito’s and every time we leave the house I’m worried Adam will soon sport the same.
Finally, we’ve lived in this house for 2 years but with Adam coming along we’ve discovered our neighbours a few doors down. They also have a little one and we finally went over and sat in their garden this week. New friends are great to make and being so near is a blessing.